Days 5-7

Day 5, was largely uneventful. Which is a good thing! 
Annie, took the chicken from me, which is so great! It makes me happy when she takes the food from me. I've found that Stanley freaks her out when hes in the pen with us and shes trying to eat her food. Hes such a scavenger and she doesn't want to compete with him for food.
She came and laid on the couch with us again, did really well. She likes to hide her face and pretend like we can't see her. Ha! But she doesn't mind being loved on and I think she sort of enjoys a scratch behind the ears! 

Day 6, this was a big day! 
I gave her pen a really good cleaning, which freaked her out. So she was trying to get between the wall and the bottom of her crate, so I took her crate away. A lot of the things I've read have said not to play into the fear responses they have, so they don't think its okay to act like that. So I wanted to curb that behavior so I took the bottom half of her crate away. She got right into her a bed and laid in her bed the whole time I cleaned her pen! I think it worked well. 
Annie, took more chicken from me! Then I let her into the living room to sniff around. Instead of just bringing her to put on the couch, I put her in the floor to sniff. She sniffed! She wagged her tail at my dog! She didn't seem scared at all. Then, she hopped onto the couch like shes been here her whole life and laid on the couch! 
My husband laid on the couch with her and she laid on his arm between him and the back of the couch and didn't hide her face! She really likes him. 

Day 7, also a big day! One week-aversary! 
My mom came over and we took Annie outside for the second time! She did SO well! She was still trying to escape and looking for the weak spots in my fence, but she seemed pretty happy! She was wagging her tail a lot at least! 
Annie, did get a bit snappy with Woody. I think it was because he was trying to engage her in play and he freaked her out a bit, so she gave him some warning snaps. There wasn't any growling or any noise. 
She would get a little anxious and come back to me! I sat down and she would come get in my lap. She was digging in my pants and boots though, so I don't know if she was trying to get away or if she likes to dig and she was happy? 
After about 20 minutes outside, she was starting to whine, so I took that as she had had enough and it was becoming too stressful for her. But she seemed to have enjoyed the time that she did spend outside! 

I talked to my dad today and asked him if he could come and help my husband and I build Annie a secure pen in the yard. He said he would come by early in the week to make some plans for the pen. So hopefully, we will soon have a secure dog run for her to play and explore in. Only for when I'm outside of course! And it will help her to get used to the sounds of my property, and if I put Woody in there with her, they can play without leashes in the way. Plus, I think it will give me a better chance at working with her while outside.

PICTURES! Thanks to my mom, I have some pictures from today! I'm sure most of you have seen them on Facebook, but here they are!

I think its been a good few days! 

Shes still pretty shy in the house, but I think shes doing better. 

Observations after One Week:

• By day 7, she doesn't shake when you come into her room anymore! She just hides her face. But she'll look at you and watch you now! She still doesn't like pen cleanings, but when you just come into the pen she doesn't try to get away. 
• Still doesn't like the other animals around when shes trying to eat. But she doesn't care about them if they're in her pen when shes NOT eating, but when she is trying to eat, she won't until they get out. 
• Outside is going to do her wonders! She probably still doesn't understand why shes in the house. So her new outdoor run will be a blessing for bonding! 
• Balls are her jam! Thats the toy she likes. She still hasn't played with anything yet, but we have about a million different things in her pen and the ball is the only thing she perks her ears up to. 
• Couch time is the bees knees! I think she likes couch time. I think she likes my husband! Hopefully, she'll make more progress sniffing around the living room. 

I see marked improvement from last Sunday to today. 

This week she'll be getting her first bath, if the weather permits that is! 

Should be a great week! Thanks for reading! 

My First Cry

Tonight, was my first real cry about whats been going on with Annie. About Annie. I cried because I am so sad for her and I am so mad at the people who did this. 
I got Stanley's food ready so I could go in and feed Annie and thought about how crazy it seems to cook chickens for a dog, just to get her to eat. Then thought about how sad it was that she just laid in her bed all day. Then thought about how horrible it was for a dog, to be so broken and sad and tortured. 

I've said it before, I have never met a dog like this. A dog that is so reaction-less, a dog that is so...quiet. Never ever uttering a single noise. Its almost unnatural. And its most definitely heartbreaking. 

I went in and I sat with her. She was behind her bed, in the bottom half of her crate, so I took her bed out, thus making her get out of the crate. She went and peed and laid on the bed next to me. I just looked at her sad little face and started crying. I know that you're not supposed to convey overly strong emotions to them, because they feel it. But I told her that I just wanted to love her and show her that this is home, this is what a home IS. I told her that I just wanted her to be happy and healthy and normal and be loved. Be LOVED for the first time in her whole life. I told her I just want to love her. And I want to feed her and make sure shes warm and safe, for always. To make sure that she never ever ends up on a street living under a pile of box springs again. 

And you guys know what happened? She looked at me square in the eyes and she ate that chicken from my hand. And she SAT UP and faced me and ate the chicken from me. And when I got up to get her dog food, she didn't run away. She didn't cower. She sat there. 

I read something today that I thought was really nice. 

"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. 

You are his life, his love, his leader. 

He will be yours faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart.

You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion. 

-Anonymous

Over all with her, its been a good day. She went potty, which is great. 

But sometimes when you get into a quiet house, your mind starts to race and you think of all the things that are wrong and you just have to cry about it. So I did. 

She is going to be a good dog. I can not wait to see her become a great dog. 

I think I just found my calling. 

Day 4

Yesterday, Day 4, was a big day! 

I took Annie outside for the first time! I had her in a harness, a collar and a slip-leash. I was making sure she wasn't going anywhere! We stayed outside for about 5 minutes, not very long. The only thing she did was try to get out away and try to escape. I took my dog out with her to help her out. He tried to engage her in play, but she wanted none of that; but she wasn't afraid either. 
As I was carrying her back into the house, two of my cats got into a really terrible fight! So I had to put Annie in her pen and run and get my cats separated. It was traumatizing for me, so I can only imagine what it was like for her! I just hope that she won't associate coming back into the house with a hectic cat fight or something loud and awful! I hope that its only half a step back rather than 5 steps back. 
And she did poop when we got back into the house, I think the excitement shook it out of her! That's two poops in one day, we're getting somewhere! 

After the whole cat fight situation, I gave her some time to collect herself and calm down. 
I attempted to feed her some chicken but she wouldn't take any, even though she really wanted some. I am positive she wouldn't take it because my dog came into the pen with me following the chicken. Then he proceeded to act like her pen was a dog buffet and eat all her food and try to eat all the chicken. It wasn't the greatest idea that I've had. But now I know that she won't eat food from me when there is something else there. Stanley the cat was being a bit difficult too, as he also loves chicken. So next time I feed her, Woody will not be included. 

While talking to my mom on the phone yesterday evening, she brought up a good point: Maybe Annie is lonely? I told my mom that she still never comes out of her crate, even though the top is gone. And when she is out of the crate she just lays in one spot on the floor and doesn't move. She doesn't sniff around or explore anything at all, that I've seen. 
My mom suggested that maybe after my son went to bed, Annie come into the living room and sit with us while we're watching TV. So she can be around people and on the couch like a normal dog, hearing the TV and hearing us chat to each other. And she could be loved on while we're sitting there. Because who is to say that even though she spent so much time alone and is totally terrified of us, shes not still lonely?

So I put a blanket down on the couch, because she STINKS! No bath for 3 years = a stinky dog! 
I brought her into the living room and put her down on the couch, she circled around and went to the corner of the couch as far from me as possible and buried her head. We sat like that for some time, while I watched TV. I would occasionally scratch behind her ear or try to uncover her face. She wasn't shaking or scared looking, but her ears were perked up like she was listening hard! 
My husband, Alex, decided to try something out. He loved on her a bit, then picked her up. He sat down and put her on his lap! She sat there, for about 30 minutes trying to decide whether putting her head under his arm, under his hands, or by her tail was hiding her better. She wasn't scared though! No shaking! She was just trying to make herself as small as possible. Probably because she wasn't sure what was going to happen and she wasn't sure why he was holding her. 
I told him to be gentle with her because I'm not sure where on her body is sensitive, so I didn't want him to keep touching a place that made her uncomfortable. Her feet are off limits. 
Alex, sat there with her for about 30 minutes on his lap, scratching around her ears and chin and sides of the face. Talking to her about getting a bath and how pretty she was. And now she was a good size for a lap dog, because 5 out of 5 cats agree that he has the best lap in the house! Hahaha. 

He put her back down on the couch and I sat with her for a little while longer until it was time to go to bed. I put her back into her pen, on her new bed(thanks to Nana Susan), and said goodnight to her and Stanley. I turned the light out and heard her hop out of her crate. I looked back in and she was eating the left over chicken from when I tried to hand feed her. 

What I learned:

• Her interactions with Woody have to be separate from her hand feeding sessions. She won't eat when he's in there with her, maybe because fear of him being aggressive over food? She is not food aggressive, at all. So food sessions will be separate and quiet, play sessions will involve no food. 
• She does some exploring when the lights are out, that I've been unaware of. I think that's when she eats. Stanley goes to sleep like a bird, when the lights are out hes quiet. So when hes quiet, Annie gets up. 
• She doesn't mind being on the couch with us, she just doesn't know what we're going to do with her. Couch sessions will happen every night after our son has gone to bed. That way she can get to know our house while its quiet. 
• Chicken is every dog and every cats favorite treat! I put some chicken juice on her dry food before bed and she ate about half of it, which is a huge deal since she hadn't been eating much dry food. 

Stay tuned! I hope there are more good things to share in the coming days and weeks. I hope we make a lot of progress! 

Happy Friday everyone! I hope you guys have a great weekend! 

The First Days

The first few days of having Annie have proved to be difficult. Not difficult, in that shes a bad dog, but difficult because shes so lost and sad. I've never met a dog like this before. Something so broken and so afraid; and yet something so gentle and quiet. 

The day she went to the vet was very surprising. It was eye opening for me, because she wasn't aggressive or overly scared. She did very well for the vet exam, let everyone touch her and check her out. It was a really good sign. 

Then as we got home from the vet, she barked at one of my cats. I thought for sure she was coming out of her shell and she was going to be just fine. I thought that she was going to be ready to take a bath the next day and meet everyone. I thought wrong. 

The day after we went to the vet, Day 2 of having her, she barely came out of her crate. She did some out when I put my dog, Woody, in with her. I think she only came out because I knocked the back of her crate with the fence, so it startled her out. Either way, she was out and she met Woody and peed. No aggression when she met Woody, they sat a few feet from each other and I petted him while she looked on. It was a good sign, ignoring is better than fighting, so I'll count that as a plus! 

Yesterday, Day 3, she didn't come out of her crate at ALL. She stayed in there all day and all night. No going to the bathroom. I did manage to hand feed her some hot dogs, she was so gentle in taking the food from me. I put some hot dogs into her food and she did eat some food and the hot dogs, so that was good. But still didn't come out. She did eat the wet food I put in her crate, also a good sign. Eating is important, but pooping and peeing is important too!

So last night, I wrote down in my written journal of her, everything that has happened and my thoughts about what should come next. I decided that I should either take her crate away or take the top off of it. After texting with my mom a bit, we both decided that taking the top off would be a better first step than just taking it away completely. 

I want her to be comfortable, happy and feel like she has her own "place of safety"; but I'm also afraid that her crate is going to become her crutch. And shes not necessarily feeling safe in the crate, shes just hiding in there because I think she knows that I won't reach in there to get her. Shes just trying to avoid me. 

So she'll still have her own place to sleep and hang out, as I believe all dogs should have. But she won't have a hidey-hole or cave to camp out in all the time.  

Today, Day 4. 

I took the top off her crate today. She did not like that. She did come out of the crate though because it made a loud popping noise. 

She came out and immediately pooped and peed, which is great! I was so excited about her going to the bathroom! 

I took her blankets out and put them in the wash and gave her a new blanket, but she has yet to get back into the bottom part of the crate. Which is fine. I think having her out and contained is better than her being hidden away. It will make it easier to hand feed her and get to know her and let her get to know me. 

My general plan is, going slow. Slow and steady is going to win this race. 

1. I'm going to let her get to know me, my voice and my smell by reading aloud to her, for 10-15 minute sessions a few times a day, maybe. 

2. Hand feeding is going to be a big thing too. I'm going to start hand feeding her a few times a day I think. Until she gets to know me. I'm going to make a chicken, to start feeding her, as I hate feeding too many hot dogs. I know she'll like the chicken!

3. I'm trying to keep my visits with her short and to the point. Meaning, I go in and read and leave, or go in and feed and leave. I don't try to touch her or interact with her, because I feel that would just stress her out more. 

3. Also, my dog, Woody, I think is going to be a big help. I'm going to try to start walking them other outside. I think having another dog around, might help to boost her confidence. And putting him in her pen with her a few times a day will help them get to know each other too and maybe bring them to play. So hopefully she'll relate to him better than to me right now. Woody is a really good dog, hes very gentle and calm, plus if she did get aggressive with him, he wouldn't do anything about it. 

I think hes going to be a big help in showing her that I'M not scary, that I'm the good one! 

4. Finding the right kind of toy for her. I need to find the kind of toy she likes. So far, she hasn't shown any interest in any of the toys I have for her. One has a squeaker, two are little stuffed animals, a few bones. No interest yet. I don't know if its because shes scared or not, but most dogs like to play with things. I'm going to try to get a large variety of rubber, crinkly, squeaky toys, and some balls to see if any of them strike her fancy. I hope I can find something that she likes. And I hope that Woody will show her how to play with toys because he loves ripping things apart and finding the squeaker. 

5. Having Stanley the cat in her room with her. He was dumped at my house a few days before I got Annie. I think having Stanley in there with her is a good thing too. I think her seeing me pet and feed and take care of another animal is a good thing. I think her having something else alive in the room is positive too. Annie did growl at Stanley one time, but he meows constantly, so she was probably trying to tell him to shut it! 

I'm going to continue to blog about her and our journey together. Hopefully we take more steps forward than backwards, but who knows. Its all up to her! 

Thanks for reading!